CLASHING IN A GOOD WAY

In a world where individuals have their own interests, needs and concerns, and need to find some sort of way to achieve those, conflict is bound to happen. This mainly occurs when we perceive a threat to our needs, or when our needs clash with those of the other person. Conflict can’t be avoided, but it can be handled in a constructive manner. Here’s how:

Be Honest

Being honest about how you feel about a certain situation and how you perceive it is quite important when in conflict with someone else, because it not only shows that you have your own opinion about things, but also shows that you can voice those opinions and not agree to everything that’s put in your way. No one is impressed with a doormat. But you do need to be careful about how you voice your opinion. It’s important to respect the other person and tackle the problem, and not to attack and demean the one you’re in conflict with. Demeaning the other person to get your way is inappropriate and shows a lack of maturity.

Keep your Cool

It’s important to control your temper when in conflict. Most of the time, when you’re angry, the tone in which you speak to the other person is what causes conflicts to blow out of proportion, and it also causes you to say things you’ll regret later. And also, anger builds up if you choose to keep things bottled in. Rather take the chance of being in conflict with someone rather than keeping quiet about things that have upset you, causing a build-up in resentment.

Accept Constructive Criticism

Sometimes conflict happens when you’re confronted with the truth about a certain situation or a certain habit that you have. This is good conflict, because not only does it lead you away from wrong habits or a wrong direction that you’ve been travelling on that can potentially cause you harm, but it also opens your mind to other ways of handling situations that you did not see previously. It helps you grow as a person. Constructive criticism shouldn’t be ignored, but should be taken to heart and applied because it only works for your good.

Settle the Matter

Try to find some common ground with the one you’re in conflict with. Find a solution that works for both parties, because in as much as you want your interests to be met, the other person’s interests need to be met as well. Resolve the issue at hand as honestly as possible so that the causes that lead to the conflict can be dealt with, and both parties can be rest assured that the issue has been laid to rest.

By Lebo Matshego.

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